Just a quick note to inform you that services, etc. are on hold due to the pandemic. As soon as we know, we will let you know.
You can imagine that this is very, very difficult for our family. To not be able to see others in person makes it harder. But, please know how appreciative we are of your support: your calls, your texts, your emails, your cards, flowers, your love. Mom, Dad and I are thinking of our Michael and just trying to smile.
March 27, 2020
March 23, 2020
Michael J. Whyte, September 30, 1975 to March 23, 2020
Michael J. Whyte, born September 30, 1975, to Gail and Joseph. He was the proud grandson of James J. and Eleanor Archambault, and John and Margaret Whyte. From day one, Michael was a loving, caring son, who had the affection of his parents and grandparents. He had reddish-blonde locks, and he loved playing with his Matchbox cars and GI Joe figures. In 1980, he became a big brother to Thomas John (“T.J.”), who he kept an eye on and forged the right path for, throughout T.J.’s life. Michael was the leader of the neighborhood kids, taking them on bicycle and backyard adventures. During one such adventure, T.J. fell and broke his arm, leading Michael to pick up his younger brother and carry him over a quarter of a mile home. Michael routinely acted as the man of the house while his father was fighting fires, always turning up the radio scanner to listen to Lieutenant Whyte give a report from a fire.
While Michael was never the best athlete (let’s be honest here!), he was a solid student who proudly graduated from Notre Dame Catholic High School, the class of 1993. From there, he earned a finance degree from the University of Connecticut, graduating in 1997. At both Notre Dame and UConn, Michael worked the social circles and made some of his closest friends at those institutions. These friends remained by his side through thick and thin, through good times and bad, and many became life-long friends.
After graduating from UConn, he followed in the footsteps of his mentor, uncle Jimmie Archambault, and moved to New York City. There, Michael began his career in Real Estate Finance with Ernst & Young LLP--“Uncle Ernie” as he affectionately called it. Michael spent seven years in New York City, under the tutelage of his mentor. Jimmie would routinely test Michael’s street-savvy, helping him learn the ways of the city, how to network in business circles, and most importantly, how to enjoy the rewards of his success…think of it like the movie Wall Street, but without the real bad stuff!
While Michael never strayed too far from home, always stopping in for Mom’s meatloaf, or to take in a ballgame with his Dad and T.J., he was a world-traveler at heart. In 2004, he took an overseas opportunity with Morgan Stanley and his eyes were opened to the world. He lived in various locales, including Beijing, Tokyo, and Frankfurt, before settling in London, England. He established himself in London’s South Kensington neighborhood, hopping to various locales throughout Europe on weekends. After conquering the British Empire, Michael took an opportunity with one of his best friends and moved to Belgrade, Serbia, where they helped finance and build the first shopping mall in the city. He reported (to the distress of his parents) that the building he worked in had once been hit by a tomahawk cruise missile during the Balkan conflict. Michael continued to travel the globe, hitting Africa, Asia, Eastern and Western Europe, South America, and even Cuba with some of his best friends. Michael enjoyed the good life, whether it was eating a delicious meal at Maccheroni in Rome with his family, skiing the Swiss Alps, or a having pint of Guinness in Dublin. But Michael always kept to his roots, regularly championing the financial support of his alma maters and donating his time to the causes of good friends and family.
In 2008, Michael received a diagnosis that would change his life: brain cancer. He took his first private jet flight from Belgrade to London (thank you, Rob) to return home for surgery. Mom will never forget Michael and T.J. shaving their heads together; or, Michael being pushed down the hallway on the day of his surgery laughing that he looked like the cartoon character “Marvin the Martian” from the round metal surgery markers on his head. It was reported that upon hearing the news of Michael’s diagnosis, Uncle Jimmie fiddled his rolodex, called in favors and got “the best damn surgeon” he could find…and he did, for his Michael. The renowned Dr. Phillip Stieg, of Cornell Weill, performed Michael’s brain surgery. Throughout it all--his diagnosis, surgery, post-op treatment--Michael never faltered and never cried once in front of his family or friends. Within the year, he was back to work in Serbia.
In 2014, Michael returned to the States and celebrated his 40th birthday in his hometown of Bridgeport with over 100 of his closest friends and family. He decided to make a permanent move stateside and he and his brother established “The Western Whyte House” in Fairfield. In 2018, he moved back to the home of his birth. There, he kept a close eye on his Mom and Dad, debating politics with Dad and sampling Mom’s delicious cookies. Michael had, well, interesting music tastes and would belt some vocals from his old bedroom while checking the stock markets or keeping tabs on old friends. Most notably, he continued his fight against the big C.
As time passed, and Michael’s fight continued, it became apparent that the big C would never go away. In February 2020, Michael made the courageous decision to say that he had had enough, but telling his family, “I’m still f***n’ here.” In the end, Michael passed peacefully, surrounded by his mother, father, and brother, in the home where he grew up. Michael had fought the good fight, he had finished his work.
Michael would want you to remember his favorite quote, made famous by one of his favorite movies, a classic, Dead Poets Society: Carpe diem (SEIZE THE DAY). Michael did seize the day…every day…having traveled to 42 states, 43 countries and six continents during his life. But more importantly, he made an impression on those he met and knew. Michael will be missed by the many people who he’d touched, most especially his family and close friends.
In light of recent events, services will be announced at a later date and time.
Michael asked that donations be made in his memory to the Notre Dame Catholic High School Scholarship fund.
DAY 9. I have to admit, this is a grind, both physically and emotionally. We didn't have a night nurse for the second night in a row, which has left us somewhat exhausted. Let's just say that I am not too happy with the hospice right now. But, what good is that going to do, right?
My parents, God Bless them, are in their 70s. Here we are changing my brother's shirt and diaper and bed sheets, moving my brother's somewhat lifeless body....and our boy isn't exactly a little guy any more! Mom and Dad are doing something for their son they haven't done in over 40 years and probably never expected to have to do again. But you know what? They don't complain one damn bit. If anything, they do it with love: they clean him, caress him and talk to Michael with love and compassion. And we all push on, because our boy is WORTH EVERY DAMN EFFORT.
Let's change the flight path (as Michael might appreciate)....Did you know about our Michael?
- what a sight it was to see him get off the train from NYC in a sharp Brooks Brothers suit, glasses, an Hermes tie, Italian-crafted Ferragamo shoes, carrying his Tumi work bag. But the best part, was always that grin and a "hello Chop!" when he saw me waiting for him. Even better was when he would surprise us at home or a special event.
- as a kid, he loved playing with his Tonka trucks in the dirt in the backyard, but he always made sure to clean them up, then line them up neatly in the basement. Do you think Mom gave him just some of her Type A habits?
- Michael was a fantastic older brother. BUT, when they did fight, probably because of The Chop's temper (you don't think?!), he did hold The Chop's forehead while T.J. tried to kick or slap at his brother, to no avail. Dad would say "pretend you don't hear him", causing T.J. to get madder!
- in an era before cell phones, M loved calling Dad at the firehouse. He would kindly ask the desk officer, "Can I speak with Lieutenant Whyte please?", listen patiently while Dad came running down to the firehouse phone, then say, "goodnight, Daddy."
- he was Mom's right hand man on those many long days and nights when Dad was at the firehouse, helping keep the house tidy or watch over T.J. (please see the aforementioned about holding T.J.'s forehead to keep things calm :) )
- in the last few years, he loved taking Mom and Dad for rides, and taking Mom for long walks in Lordship, where they would talk about life, past trips, and our family.
Folks, we continue on. God has a plan and we have to be ok with it. We have faith.
We love our Michael. We love you and thank you for your continued support...you hold us up. Do a Michael Whyte deed today and CALL (yes, not just text) someone you haven't chatted with in some time...life is too short.
My parents, God Bless them, are in their 70s. Here we are changing my brother's shirt and diaper and bed sheets, moving my brother's somewhat lifeless body....and our boy isn't exactly a little guy any more! Mom and Dad are doing something for their son they haven't done in over 40 years and probably never expected to have to do again. But you know what? They don't complain one damn bit. If anything, they do it with love: they clean him, caress him and talk to Michael with love and compassion. And we all push on, because our boy is WORTH EVERY DAMN EFFORT.
Let's change the flight path (as Michael might appreciate)....Did you know about our Michael?
- what a sight it was to see him get off the train from NYC in a sharp Brooks Brothers suit, glasses, an Hermes tie, Italian-crafted Ferragamo shoes, carrying his Tumi work bag. But the best part, was always that grin and a "hello Chop!" when he saw me waiting for him. Even better was when he would surprise us at home or a special event.
- as a kid, he loved playing with his Tonka trucks in the dirt in the backyard, but he always made sure to clean them up, then line them up neatly in the basement. Do you think Mom gave him just some of her Type A habits?
- Michael was a fantastic older brother. BUT, when they did fight, probably because of The Chop's temper (you don't think?!), he did hold The Chop's forehead while T.J. tried to kick or slap at his brother, to no avail. Dad would say "pretend you don't hear him", causing T.J. to get madder!
- in an era before cell phones, M loved calling Dad at the firehouse. He would kindly ask the desk officer, "Can I speak with Lieutenant Whyte please?", listen patiently while Dad came running down to the firehouse phone, then say, "goodnight, Daddy."
- he was Mom's right hand man on those many long days and nights when Dad was at the firehouse, helping keep the house tidy or watch over T.J. (please see the aforementioned about holding T.J.'s forehead to keep things calm :) )
- in the last few years, he loved taking Mom and Dad for rides, and taking Mom for long walks in Lordship, where they would talk about life, past trips, and our family.
Folks, we continue on. God has a plan and we have to be ok with it. We have faith.
We love our Michael. We love you and thank you for your continued support...you hold us up. Do a Michael Whyte deed today and CALL (yes, not just text) someone you haven't chatted with in some time...life is too short.
March 22, 2020
A new day begins, with our routines: filling syringes, giving kisses to our Michael, firing up Alexa with some Irish tunes, changing sheets, Dad going out to get breakfast, having our first cups of coffee and chatting to M in his room, and listening to his gentle breathing.
Unfortunately, we didn't have a night nurse last night...so like any good team, we stepped up, filled the void, and did M's overnight meds in shifts. Today will be a long day, but he's worth it.
Not much new to report. His vitals are ok, but his pulse and heartbeat are noticeably weaker than a few days ago. The only addition today may be a nice, warm sponge bath and shave for our boy. I tell ya, this kid is getting spa-like treatment here at 525 - and doesn't he deserve it?!
Did you know?
- Michael was a member of the Spanish Honor Society in high school (but I really don't think he knows that much Spanish, to be honest, sorry Mrs. Guarino!)
- he received a varsity letter as a member (manager) of the UConn men's basketball team, something he always cherished. He also got a small portion of the wood flooring that the boys used to win their first National Championship in 1999. He personally witnessed 2 out their 3 National Championships.
- he was fond of the goodies given to those flying first or business class...to the point that The Chop (that's me) has about 134 shoe bags, first class pajamas, socks, eye shades, etc.
- when mom got sick overseas, he paid to upgrade her and T.J.'s flight home to business class, ensuring their comfort.
- dad used to take a very young Michael to watch traffic and construction sites, hold his hand and feed him Drake's coffee cakes;
- he was fond of taking candid photos of mom, dad or T.J. sleeping; and, videos of us snoring (those have not been located at this point and may end up being lost!)
- he "lent" The Chop a copy of his driver's license prior to T.J. turning 21...to which The Chop later had confiscated by Miami PD during Spring Break. Michael admonished T.J. (and rightly so) and he did NOT issue another copy of said license, much to T.J.'s displeasure.
So just a few more trivia facts about our boy, our Michael.
Do your daily Michael Whyte-ism....how about a hello to your neighbor if you're out getting some exercise? Or belt out some tunes in the shower?!
We love you and we are grateful for you and your support...know that it helps us...
Unfortunately, we didn't have a night nurse last night...so like any good team, we stepped up, filled the void, and did M's overnight meds in shifts. Today will be a long day, but he's worth it.
Not much new to report. His vitals are ok, but his pulse and heartbeat are noticeably weaker than a few days ago. The only addition today may be a nice, warm sponge bath and shave for our boy. I tell ya, this kid is getting spa-like treatment here at 525 - and doesn't he deserve it?!
Did you know?
- Michael was a member of the Spanish Honor Society in high school (but I really don't think he knows that much Spanish, to be honest, sorry Mrs. Guarino!)
- he received a varsity letter as a member (manager) of the UConn men's basketball team, something he always cherished. He also got a small portion of the wood flooring that the boys used to win their first National Championship in 1999. He personally witnessed 2 out their 3 National Championships.
- he was fond of the goodies given to those flying first or business class...to the point that The Chop (that's me) has about 134 shoe bags, first class pajamas, socks, eye shades, etc.
- when mom got sick overseas, he paid to upgrade her and T.J.'s flight home to business class, ensuring their comfort.
- dad used to take a very young Michael to watch traffic and construction sites, hold his hand and feed him Drake's coffee cakes;
- he was fond of taking candid photos of mom, dad or T.J. sleeping; and, videos of us snoring (those have not been located at this point and may end up being lost!)
- he "lent" The Chop a copy of his driver's license prior to T.J. turning 21...to which The Chop later had confiscated by Miami PD during Spring Break. Michael admonished T.J. (and rightly so) and he did NOT issue another copy of said license, much to T.J.'s displeasure.
So just a few more trivia facts about our boy, our Michael.
Do your daily Michael Whyte-ism....how about a hello to your neighbor if you're out getting some exercise? Or belt out some tunes in the shower?!
We love you and we are grateful for you and your support...know that it helps us...
March 21, 2020
It's hard to believe it was a week ago today that our Michael suffered his grand mal seizure; two weeks ago, Mom, Dad, M & I were at dinner at his favorite restaurant, Massimo's, enjoying dishes of pasta; about six weeks ago, Michael ceased his treatment at MSK; almost three months ago, we were celebrating Christmas Eve at the best location in the world with our family, as if life was just fine. Life goes by fast sometimes...and how things have changed.
Michael had a good night, with a new nurse, Sophia. She took good care of him, all under the watchful eye of Dad. Unfortunately, M's vitals are fading slightly.
Today, right now, in this moment, Michael is still here. As I write this, my brother is sleeping soundly and he looks like my own personal angel, with those rosy cheeks and mouth slightly open. I am reassured by his steady breath and I look over and watch his chest rise and fall. While I write this blog for those of you who are reading (and who have given such kind feedback), today, it's really for me. This has been the longest week of my life, which started with seeing Michael lying on the floor after his seizure and my parents hunched over him: a blur of medication syringes, bedsheet and diaper changes, vomit and urine spills, tear drops, far too many coffees and desserts, pass-outs in chairs, sore back muscles, loads of smelly laundry, even my own fall to the kitchen floor yelling, screaming and crying at this terrible situation. I hope that that crap won't cloud my wonderful memories of my Michael.
So, let me change gears and remember some things that I love about him:
- Michael used to love to act, taking part in plays and musicals in grammar school and high school; he actually had a decent singing voice (that he continued to exercise in the shower).
- He was a manager for the UConn men's basketball team, and for one summer, he was Coach Calhoun's personal assistant (the best part for M, was taking Coach's brand new Ford to the car wash every couple days....such a car geek!)
- He always prided himself on dressing sharp...his closet in the Western Whyte House has over 100 dress shirts, ties, suits, Italian-made shoes, cuff links, collar stays, etc. It really is something to see.
- Michael LOVES his nieces and nephews: Brian, Lauren, Madison, Lukas, Aidan, and all the other sons and daughters of his closest friends...he is "Uncle Mike" to MANY wonderful kids
- Michael always slurped his first few sips of coffee.
- As kids, he accidentally knocked my front tooth out.
- He has comical nicknames for our Bridgeport and Fairfield neighbors and close friends.
- His own nicknames included "Spice", "Spicey", "Mr. 76", "The Filibuster" (he spoke at length to strangers), "Mr. President" (he knows everything) & yes, "Boobs" (not why you think!)
- He loves his desserts, always saying, "I'm on holiday" when indulging.
- He had pretty bad music tastes (in my humble opinion!), though he did help introduce me to U2 & DMB.
- He loved to finagle deals at hotels or on airlines to get better seats and he always insisted on paying to get more points. The kid has like 1 billion points!!!
- He insisted on filling the dishwasher his way.
So, those are just a few of the little things that I'll never forget about him. I hope they can cloud out the more recent crap.
Today, Michael is here. I know that he won't be forever; to be gone sooner than we all want. But, I will always love him and man, what a life he lived! Thank you for being in our corner...thank you for your love and support. I know every one of you has something else going on in your life (on top of this virus stuff), but I need you. We will NEED you now and when this is after, most especially my Mom and Dad.
Perform a Michael Whyte-ism today: rock out to some 80s song and give a warm hello to close friend!
Michael had a good night, with a new nurse, Sophia. She took good care of him, all under the watchful eye of Dad. Unfortunately, M's vitals are fading slightly.
Today, right now, in this moment, Michael is still here. As I write this, my brother is sleeping soundly and he looks like my own personal angel, with those rosy cheeks and mouth slightly open. I am reassured by his steady breath and I look over and watch his chest rise and fall. While I write this blog for those of you who are reading (and who have given such kind feedback), today, it's really for me. This has been the longest week of my life, which started with seeing Michael lying on the floor after his seizure and my parents hunched over him: a blur of medication syringes, bedsheet and diaper changes, vomit and urine spills, tear drops, far too many coffees and desserts, pass-outs in chairs, sore back muscles, loads of smelly laundry, even my own fall to the kitchen floor yelling, screaming and crying at this terrible situation. I hope that that crap won't cloud my wonderful memories of my Michael.
So, let me change gears and remember some things that I love about him:
- Michael used to love to act, taking part in plays and musicals in grammar school and high school; he actually had a decent singing voice (that he continued to exercise in the shower).
- He was a manager for the UConn men's basketball team, and for one summer, he was Coach Calhoun's personal assistant (the best part for M, was taking Coach's brand new Ford to the car wash every couple days....such a car geek!)
- He always prided himself on dressing sharp...his closet in the Western Whyte House has over 100 dress shirts, ties, suits, Italian-made shoes, cuff links, collar stays, etc. It really is something to see.
- Michael LOVES his nieces and nephews: Brian, Lauren, Madison, Lukas, Aidan, and all the other sons and daughters of his closest friends...he is "Uncle Mike" to MANY wonderful kids
- Michael always slurped his first few sips of coffee.
- As kids, he accidentally knocked my front tooth out.
- He has comical nicknames for our Bridgeport and Fairfield neighbors and close friends.
- His own nicknames included "Spice", "Spicey", "Mr. 76", "The Filibuster" (he spoke at length to strangers), "Mr. President" (he knows everything) & yes, "Boobs" (not why you think!)
- He loves his desserts, always saying, "I'm on holiday" when indulging.
- He had pretty bad music tastes (in my humble opinion!), though he did help introduce me to U2 & DMB.
- He loved to finagle deals at hotels or on airlines to get better seats and he always insisted on paying to get more points. The kid has like 1 billion points!!!
- He insisted on filling the dishwasher his way.
So, those are just a few of the little things that I'll never forget about him. I hope they can cloud out the more recent crap.
Today, Michael is here. I know that he won't be forever; to be gone sooner than we all want. But, I will always love him and man, what a life he lived! Thank you for being in our corner...thank you for your love and support. I know every one of you has something else going on in your life (on top of this virus stuff), but I need you. We will NEED you now and when this is after, most especially my Mom and Dad.
Perform a Michael Whyte-ism today: rock out to some 80s song and give a warm hello to close friend!
March 20, 2020
"Hello friends." The battle continues. Anecdote of the day: Michael was a lover of war/military movies, specifically, The Hunt for Red October, Crimson Tide, Top Gun, Black Hawk Down. In Black Hawk Down they referred to the helicopters as "Chalk" units, such as "Chalk One" and "Chalk Two." Michael routinely could be heard talking to himself in the shower, "Chalk One! Chalk One!" and when he turned on the water "weapons hot!" For those of you that really know him, can't you just picture that?! What a nut...but he always made me laugh! It's a part of his fighting spirit...
He is still sleeping as I write this at 0730 hrs. He was not very verbal yesterday, but we did get more than a few hand squeezes and multiple blinks to our questions. His vitals are solid, but our nurse did say that his heartbeat did not seem as strong. He has not eaten since Friday night. Unfortunately, his coordination is gone, so we have to move him from side to side every few hours. Usually during the day, we will lie him face up and raise his bed allowing him to look around and we can chat to him. He is on his meds and he is warm under some blankets.
God bless my parents...we are such a team. Dad and I tend to do the stuff directly with Michael (shaves, sponge baths), while Mom sits and chats to him and caresses his hand or head...she's always staying busy. We work well as our family unit, laughing and crying through it all. This can be so hard to watch, but at the same time, so wonderful. I cry watching my parents hover over my brother, whispering in his ear or holding his hand; but, I am grateful that we have this time with him. Do we know the outcome? Sure, but don't we all? So why NOT try and find the silver linings in this, as fragile as those silver linings can seem. Why NOT try and enjoy the time that we DO have with him?
Another M anecdote. The kid had about 554 t-shirts, many of them brand new (thanks Mikey, those were some of my old Christmas presents to you!!!) So, we've taken to dressing him in them, some of his favorites, from places he's been, like The Buena Vista (San Fran), Beograd (Belgrade, Serbia), World Cup (Japan), UConn, UT (Austin), etc.
So folks, another day has come, with our boy still (expletive deleted!) here. God Bless him. God Bless you and yours today. Thank you for all the support...the emails, the texts, the kind words, the tears. Do us a favor...do a Michael Whyte-ism today: greet someone genuinely and hold the door open for them....that's what he would do. We love you...
He is still sleeping as I write this at 0730 hrs. He was not very verbal yesterday, but we did get more than a few hand squeezes and multiple blinks to our questions. His vitals are solid, but our nurse did say that his heartbeat did not seem as strong. He has not eaten since Friday night. Unfortunately, his coordination is gone, so we have to move him from side to side every few hours. Usually during the day, we will lie him face up and raise his bed allowing him to look around and we can chat to him. He is on his meds and he is warm under some blankets.
God bless my parents...we are such a team. Dad and I tend to do the stuff directly with Michael (shaves, sponge baths), while Mom sits and chats to him and caresses his hand or head...she's always staying busy. We work well as our family unit, laughing and crying through it all. This can be so hard to watch, but at the same time, so wonderful. I cry watching my parents hover over my brother, whispering in his ear or holding his hand; but, I am grateful that we have this time with him. Do we know the outcome? Sure, but don't we all? So why NOT try and find the silver linings in this, as fragile as those silver linings can seem. Why NOT try and enjoy the time that we DO have with him?
Another M anecdote. The kid had about 554 t-shirts, many of them brand new (thanks Mikey, those were some of my old Christmas presents to you!!!) So, we've taken to dressing him in them, some of his favorites, from places he's been, like The Buena Vista (San Fran), Beograd (Belgrade, Serbia), World Cup (Japan), UConn, UT (Austin), etc.
So folks, another day has come, with our boy still (expletive deleted!) here. God Bless him. God Bless you and yours today. Thank you for all the support...the emails, the texts, the kind words, the tears. Do us a favor...do a Michael Whyte-ism today: greet someone genuinely and hold the door open for them....that's what he would do. We love you...
March 19, 2020
"Hello friends" (I bet you didn't know that Michael loved quoting CBS Sports' commentator Jim Nantz who said those two words at the beginning of his Master's Tournament coverage).
Michael is continuing his fight. He continues to sleep most of the time, but his nurses repeat that he can hear us. Michael occasionally acknowledges us with a hand squeeze or a mumble, which may be hard to understand, but we have heard some words, which bring tears to our eyes. At this point, we cherish all we can get from our boy. His vitals remain strong though he hasn't eaten for a few days now. He is on his medications and we keep him warm and comfortable.
This continues to be a tough, but humbling, experience. It is hard for us to understand how quickly he went from a more than capable man to this. But, he's still here and we try and remain grateful that we have this time with him. My parents or I being able to crawl into bed with him to keep him warm, or caress his hands or head are wonderful things. But do you understand that in a way, they are terrible, too? No negativity here! So, we try to remain in a state of grace and just be thankful that we have these moments with our Michael.
Ok, let's get to it. What's on the agenda today? Sentry duty, some good chats, some reading of the NY Post to him, with Irish music in the background. Dad and I will give him a nice shave, while Mom will dutifully keep M's room organized, with the occasional kiss on the forehead (the punk is getting more cheek pecks from Mom these days, but I'll let it slide).
It's that time in the post to say thank you to his wonderful caregivers. Most especially, Pindon W., our night nurse, our angel, who watches over our boy while we try to get some sleep.
So Michael's journey continues. Thank YOU for reading, thinking about us, maybe even shedding a tear or two, because that's ok, too...it's your love for him and that makes us feel loved, too. On this rainy day, with all this coronavirus stuff going on, give someone a smile, an elbow bump and a kind word, just like our Michael would do.
Michael is continuing his fight. He continues to sleep most of the time, but his nurses repeat that he can hear us. Michael occasionally acknowledges us with a hand squeeze or a mumble, which may be hard to understand, but we have heard some words, which bring tears to our eyes. At this point, we cherish all we can get from our boy. His vitals remain strong though he hasn't eaten for a few days now. He is on his medications and we keep him warm and comfortable.
This continues to be a tough, but humbling, experience. It is hard for us to understand how quickly he went from a more than capable man to this. But, he's still here and we try and remain grateful that we have this time with him. My parents or I being able to crawl into bed with him to keep him warm, or caress his hands or head are wonderful things. But do you understand that in a way, they are terrible, too? No negativity here! So, we try to remain in a state of grace and just be thankful that we have these moments with our Michael.
Ok, let's get to it. What's on the agenda today? Sentry duty, some good chats, some reading of the NY Post to him, with Irish music in the background. Dad and I will give him a nice shave, while Mom will dutifully keep M's room organized, with the occasional kiss on the forehead (the punk is getting more cheek pecks from Mom these days, but I'll let it slide).
It's that time in the post to say thank you to his wonderful caregivers. Most especially, Pindon W., our night nurse, our angel, who watches over our boy while we try to get some sleep.
So Michael's journey continues. Thank YOU for reading, thinking about us, maybe even shedding a tear or two, because that's ok, too...it's your love for him and that makes us feel loved, too. On this rainy day, with all this coronavirus stuff going on, give someone a smile, an elbow bump and a kind word, just like our Michael would do.
March 17, 2020
Hello all. We are in somewhat of a new reality (I guess we can say that in many respects with the coronavirus, too, eh?)
Thankfully, Michael is still ("fuckin'") here, as he liked to say...he is a fighter. But unfortunately, the grand mal seizure on Saturday took a toll on him. He has been pretty much asleep the last few days and is not very lucid for the most part. While he does have some moments of lucidity, it's very difficult to understand what he is saying, when he does speak. But, he does acknowledge us with hand squeezes, pointing and some verbal stuff, even a few tears.
Yesterday, Dad, Mom and I gave our boy a sponge bath and a shave, to which Michael said "thank you." We even threw some Joe Whyte Old Spice on him, to which M then gave us "the look!" I will say, it is very humbling to watch this unfold. Never in a million years did I expect to have to do what we are doing for our Michael. But, I am also extremely grateful that we can do this for him. My family has the opportunity to be with our boy and keep him safe, clean and comfortable. And we are strong...
We have had wonderful support from CT Hospice, mainly in the form of some great nurses, Tammy, Mike S. and Pindon W. They have repeated that there is NO timeline and that this could be our reality for hours, days, even weeks. Largely because M is healthy and his vitals remain very strong. The nurses have been so kind and they continue to compliment us, saying that we are a tight family and we are doing everything right to keep Michael comfortable.
What a challenge. As I write this, Michael continues to cut some serious Z's, and that makes us grin...he must be continuing to dream about London, or Italy, or Hawaii.
Thank you for giving us some quiet time with our boy. Thank you for all your prayers, texts, emails and good vibes. Keep the Michael stories coming! They are great reads for us! On this St. Paddy's Day, have a pint (or a seltzer!) for us today....and think of our Michael and smile and be grateful for what you have.
Thankfully, Michael is still ("fuckin'") here, as he liked to say...he is a fighter. But unfortunately, the grand mal seizure on Saturday took a toll on him. He has been pretty much asleep the last few days and is not very lucid for the most part. While he does have some moments of lucidity, it's very difficult to understand what he is saying, when he does speak. But, he does acknowledge us with hand squeezes, pointing and some verbal stuff, even a few tears.
Yesterday, Dad, Mom and I gave our boy a sponge bath and a shave, to which Michael said "thank you." We even threw some Joe Whyte Old Spice on him, to which M then gave us "the look!" I will say, it is very humbling to watch this unfold. Never in a million years did I expect to have to do what we are doing for our Michael. But, I am also extremely grateful that we can do this for him. My family has the opportunity to be with our boy and keep him safe, clean and comfortable. And we are strong...
We have had wonderful support from CT Hospice, mainly in the form of some great nurses, Tammy, Mike S. and Pindon W. They have repeated that there is NO timeline and that this could be our reality for hours, days, even weeks. Largely because M is healthy and his vitals remain very strong. The nurses have been so kind and they continue to compliment us, saying that we are a tight family and we are doing everything right to keep Michael comfortable.
What a challenge. As I write this, Michael continues to cut some serious Z's, and that makes us grin...he must be continuing to dream about London, or Italy, or Hawaii.
Thank you for giving us some quiet time with our boy. Thank you for all your prayers, texts, emails and good vibes. Keep the Michael stories coming! They are great reads for us! On this St. Paddy's Day, have a pint (or a seltzer!) for us today....and think of our Michael and smile and be grateful for what you have.
March 15, 2020
To follow up on yesterday's post...this may not be easy to read. Some might even say, why post at all? Well, as Andy B. said to me, "there is no playbook for this", and honestly, I need to write this based on everyone reaching out; and, my family gets solace knowing you are reading this and thinking of us. This is hard. Goddamn, this is hard.
Michael had a seizure yesterday morning, the first he has ever had in his life (and after 11 years of living with a brain tumor). We had heard this may happen, but he (and we) never experienced it. Needless to say, it was a very, very difficult thing for my parents to witness. M came out of it ok, but he was very groggy for the rest of the day and not responsive to us. He remained in bed, resting. A hospice nurse came and she was wonderful, talking us through everything that happened and what we maybe can expect.
Now, Michael is resting comfortably in his bed. As I write this, the boy is cutting some serious Z's (typical of my brother). His eyes remain closed, but we know he hears us. His vitals are ok. We talk to him, caress his head, and play Irish music in the background for him (you should see Joe Whyte use Alexa!) We firmly believe that he is comfortably making his way along his path. Maybe he's having a meal at Maccheroni in Rome in his dreams, or walking with Uncle Jimmie along 5th Avenue.
The question is, of course, how long will this last? Honestly, no one knows, which makes it very hard on us. It is also hard to believe how quickly this has happened.
I've said it before, God Bless my wonderful, loving parents. They are angels...they are strong.
And as I wrote yesterday, we appreciate some quiet time with him and we know you're thinking about us, so do not feel obligated to call or write. Our requests...continue thinking of Michael stories and share with T.J. and more importantly, give someone a Michael Whyte smile today and be grateful for your Sunday. We love you...
Michael had a seizure yesterday morning, the first he has ever had in his life (and after 11 years of living with a brain tumor). We had heard this may happen, but he (and we) never experienced it. Needless to say, it was a very, very difficult thing for my parents to witness. M came out of it ok, but he was very groggy for the rest of the day and not responsive to us. He remained in bed, resting. A hospice nurse came and she was wonderful, talking us through everything that happened and what we maybe can expect.
Now, Michael is resting comfortably in his bed. As I write this, the boy is cutting some serious Z's (typical of my brother). His eyes remain closed, but we know he hears us. His vitals are ok. We talk to him, caress his head, and play Irish music in the background for him (you should see Joe Whyte use Alexa!) We firmly believe that he is comfortably making his way along his path. Maybe he's having a meal at Maccheroni in Rome in his dreams, or walking with Uncle Jimmie along 5th Avenue.
The question is, of course, how long will this last? Honestly, no one knows, which makes it very hard on us. It is also hard to believe how quickly this has happened.
I've said it before, God Bless my wonderful, loving parents. They are angels...they are strong.
And as I wrote yesterday, we appreciate some quiet time with him and we know you're thinking about us, so do not feel obligated to call or write. Our requests...continue thinking of Michael stories and share with T.J. and more importantly, give someone a Michael Whyte smile today and be grateful for your Sunday. We love you...
March 14, 2020
March 7, 2020
The outpouring of your love and support continues to overwhelm us (truly, at times). Again, there's not much new to report, but because so many of you want to know (and since we are not having visitors), I felt it appropriate to post an update.
Michael's vitals are still solid and his spirits are high. He is a bit unsteady on his feet and he is sleeping quite a bit. His mental game isn't the sharpest, but he still is funny and loving - always giving my mom a kiss, hugging me, even giving Joe Whyte a fist-bump (hey, we gotta watch Coronavirus, ya know!) He fiddles on his phone and iPad, so don't be surprised by a random text or Facebook message from our boy!
While we don't have a time-line for this, we are as comfortable as we can be, with food, desserts, your check-ins...thank you. We admit, it's not the easiest for us to witness Michael this way...our boy who is not really the same...but he's "still fuckin' here" as he once candidly told us. AND GOD BLESS MY PARENTS FOR BEING THE WONDERFUL PEOPLE THEY ARE - THEY NEVER FAIL TO AMAZE ME WITH THEIR STRENGTH.
I'll continue our request: Please share your stories of Michael, of your good times, trips and moments with him, with me via email or comment section of this blog.
Think of Michael today and when you do, do some good for a person in your life or even a stranger!
Michael's vitals are still solid and his spirits are high. He is a bit unsteady on his feet and he is sleeping quite a bit. His mental game isn't the sharpest, but he still is funny and loving - always giving my mom a kiss, hugging me, even giving Joe Whyte a fist-bump (hey, we gotta watch Coronavirus, ya know!) He fiddles on his phone and iPad, so don't be surprised by a random text or Facebook message from our boy!
While we don't have a time-line for this, we are as comfortable as we can be, with food, desserts, your check-ins...thank you. We admit, it's not the easiest for us to witness Michael this way...our boy who is not really the same...but he's "still fuckin' here" as he once candidly told us. AND GOD BLESS MY PARENTS FOR BEING THE WONDERFUL PEOPLE THEY ARE - THEY NEVER FAIL TO AMAZE ME WITH THEIR STRENGTH.
I'll continue our request: Please share your stories of Michael, of your good times, trips and moments with him, with me via email or comment section of this blog.
Think of Michael today and when you do, do some good for a person in your life or even a stranger!
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